So okay, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair - ew - and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so.

Dad: What the hell is that? Cher: A dress. Dad: Says who? Cher: Calvin Klein.

Sporadically. It means once in a while. Try to use it in a sentence

He does dress better than I do, what would I bring to the relationship?

Dionne's my friend because we both know what it's like to have people be jealous of us. And I must give her snaps for her courageous fashion efforts.

Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex.

Miss Stoeger, I would just like to say that physical education in this school is a disgrace. I mean, standing in line for forty minutes is hardly aerobically effective. I doubt I've worked off the calories in a stick of Carefree gum.

Christian said he'd call the next day, but in boy time that meant Thursday.

I felt impotent and out of control. Which I really, really hate. I had to find sanctuary in a place where I could gather my thoughts and regain my strength..

You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet.

Josh: Hey, James Bond, in America we drive on the right side of the road. Cher: I am. You try driving in platforms.

Whatever...

Dionne and I were both named after famous singers of the past, who now do infomercials.

Cher: Oh, no. You don't understand, this is an Alaïa. Robber: An a-what-a? Cher: It's like a totally important designer.

As if!

I mean, ordinarily I would strut around in my cutest little outfits and send myself flowers and candy, but I couldn't do that stuff with Josh.

Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.

I know it sounds mental, but sometimes I have more fun vegging out than when I go partying. Maybe because my party clothes are so binding

I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, three pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, five peanut butter M&M's and like three pieces of licorice

Isn't my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972.

Do you prefer 'fashion victim' or 'ensembly challenged'?

Excuse me, but I have donated many expensive Italian outfits to Lucy...

Dad: So, what did you do in school today?
Cher: Well, I broke in my purple clogs.

Okay, so you're probably going, "Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?" But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl.

Lucy! Where's my white collarless shirt from Fred Segal? It's my most capable looking outfit!

Dionne: Dude, what's wrong you suffering from buyers remorse or something? 
Cher: God no, nothing like that.