Your boyfriend’s bratty little sister—the ultimate love-hate relationship.
Her obsessive use of redundant phrases like “literal actual” and “freaking ridiculous awesome” becomes approximately 100 times more tolerable after a couple of glasses of (13%) wine. She pretended you didn’t exist until you walked in on her practicing twerking, which kind of brought you closer together in a weird way. Your dresses mysteriously vanish for a night whenever you’re all crashing at their family home over the holidays, only to reappear on her Facebook profile the next day (Untag! Untag!).
You can’t pick your family, and you certainly can’t pick your maybe-future in-laws. Basically, you have to like her (or at least act like it), and deep down, a part of you really wants her to like you back. The best way to do it, at that tender age when her wallet is emptier than her vocabulary and materialism rules all? Buy her cool sh*t.
Lucky for you, you’re the perfect hybrid of old enough to be a semi-functional adult with disposable income and young enough to predict her prolific pubescent wish list better than most of her relatives. Get on her good side with more bottles to add to her overflowing vanity table, like Serge Normand mini-dry oil finishing spray or Bliss spray tan—her parents will thank you for subliminally postponing her tanning bed obsession. Or, since she’s in that delightful pin-straight Avril Lavigne hair phase, get her a flat iron that won’t fry her strands to oblivion (she can get that from the bleach!).
Swap her ear buds for super-shiny Frends x Rebecca Minkoff headphones that she can use to tune out said parentals while she Snapchats and Skypes. Or since the one thing you have in common is a magpie-like affinity for sparkly nails, supplement her collection with the Deborah Lippmann Big Bang set of polishes (bonus: it’ll keep her busy for a while. Crafts!). Lastly, since most of her favorite things fall into the category of a) cutesy, b) animal-related, or c) both, pick up a Marc Jacobs USB kitty keychain, a rubber dog phone topper or a knit Eugenia Kim cat hat.
Now just cross your fingers these peace offerings will help delay her annual holiday tantrum for a couple more hours (at least until you’ve safely flown the coop).
Maybe next Christmas she’ll have grown out of it.
— Chelsey Burnside
Eugenia Kim hat, Les Plus Dores sweater, Marc Jacobs keychain and plug courtesy of Holt Renfrew.
Shot on location at Magic Pony.